"You aren't a Pollyanna, are you?" asked my Hospice nurse skeptically after my far-too-cheerful answers to her health questions.
Hardly. I'm usually very practical, usually aware of limitations and challenges, sometimes depressed, occasionally wistful, now and then downright bitchy. But I am very rarely cynical, and I do often try my best to find that elusive silver lining.
So with that in mind – and tongue planted in cheek as far as it will go – here is my list of the Top 10 Good Things About ALS.
Number 10 – Not having to go to work: I do miss my co-workers, and sometimes I even miss the work itself. But I don't miss getting up at 5:30 AM.
Number 9 – Not having to look for work: I was laid off shortly before my diagnosis and spent several frustrating months hunting for a new job. In this economy, job hunting sucks. At my age, it really sucks.
Number 8 – Not doing housework: I was never Suzy Homemaker to begin with (as my spouse will attest), so this doesn't represent much of a behavioral change. It does however represent a big fat behavioral excuse.
Number 7 – Manicure and pedicure: No longer an indulgent luxury, these are now a necessity since I can't do my own nails. What the heck, I'll admit it –they're still an indulgent luxury. Love it!
Number 6 – A chauffeur: while I would truly love to jump in my Zoom-zoom and head out on a road trip, that is no longer possible. So it's a good thing I have my own personal driver… a.k.a. my own personal husband.
Number 5 – House calls: Who says the days of house calls are over? Calling at my house are manicurist, masseuse, home health aides, therapist, nurse, social worker, and, yes, doctor.
Number 4 – A deadline: Whether it's writing a story for a newspaper, finishing paintings for an art show, or completing any sort of project, I do my best work when a deadline looms. Not to be macabre about it, I am now under the Big Deadline, which is spurring me on to get my book published, schedule my art show, knock off the Bucket List, do all the things that are important while I still can.
Number 3 – Shampoo: There are few things that feel better than having someone else wash your hair. Aaaahhh….
Number 2 – Food, glorious food! For the first time in I don't remember when, I am being encouraged not to lose weight. With higher-than-normal metabolism rates and often with swallowing difficulty, ALS patients have to guard against excessive weight loss by upping their food intake and their calorie count. Bring on the bacon!
And Number 1 – Friends: The friends who send me letters and funny cards and e-mails, the friends who phone regularly just to say hi and see how I am, the friends who stop by for a visit, take me out for a drive, take me out to lunch, babysit me while my husband is out of town, drop by with flowers or cupcakes… who will not let friendship die just because I have this damned disease… who prove themselves, all the time, to be real friends… These are more than the Number 1 Good Thing About ALS. They are the Number 1 Good Thing That Makes ALS Bearable. They are the Number 1 Good Thing About Life, and I love them all.
