Slowing  Down, But Getting By

     Yes, I'm still here, and yes, after all these months I'm still writing. Or rather, I'm dictating, someone else is writing, and someone else will type this blog.
     I look back at my last entry and am appalled at how optimistic it was-not just optimistic but so Pollyanna, rose-coloured, unrealistic it was.
     I have been tackled. I am not conceding the game and I am still, slowly and erratically, running, but there is no way around it: I have been tackled-hard.
     It is very difficult for me to speak. My voice recognition software doesn't recognize my sounds as words. I can hardly move at all. Eating and drinking are getting harder and harder. I am more and more dependent every day.
     Things are getting worse and time is getting shorter. Optimism is getting harder to find- but it's still there.Not the sticky, sweet kind that drips all over my last blog entry, but the kind that comes from the love and support of others. Without friends, family and most especially my sweetheart, I would not be doing as well as I am.